There is a vast distinction between the upbringing of Western and Eastern children. In fact, there is a term for strict, overbearing Chinese mothers: the Tiger Mom. In Amy Chua’s novel “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, she discusses her perspective in being a “tiger mom.” Furthermore, she explains the differences between orthodox Western and Eastern upbringing.
If you haven’t already read Chua’s novel, I warn you that spoilers are ahead. I genuinely suggest you read the book for yourself! It is absolutely hilarious – laugh out loud type of funny. In fact, the San Francisco Chronicle raves, “I guarantee that if you read the book, there’ll undoubtedly be places where you’ll cringe in recognition and others where you’ll tear up in empathy.”
Let’s discuss some stereotypes about “tiger moms.”
First and foremost, tiger moms are obsessed with their children’s success. In Asian culture, the success of children is often dictated by their parent’s discipline. The more you pressure your children, the more they will succeed.
Additionally, tiger moms force their children to play an instrument. For example, Chua forced her two daughters – Chloe and Lulu – to play the piano and violin. Chua wanted to ensure that her children her educated, sophisticated, and envied by others. No matter how many compliments her children received, Chua continually “tortured” her children with late-night practices – threatening to “burn” her children’s toys.
You might feel furious right now. How could a mother do that to her own children, right? Well, my parents used a similar method. They would degrade me and judge my actions, but that taught me to be strong. I learned that hard work doesn’t always lead to success. It’s a combination of skill and luck. Though their ways are controversial, Chua upholds her strict parenting because of Chinese belief in “generational decline.” Here’s Chua’s opinion:
- “The immigrant generation (like [Chua’s] parents) is the hardest-working. Many will have started off in the United States almost penniless, but they will work nonstop until they become successful engineers, scientists, doctors, academics, or businesspeople. As parents, they will be extremely strict and rabidly thrifty… They will invest in real estate. They will not drink much. Everything they do and earn will go toward their children’s education and future.”
- “The next generation [Chua’s], the first to be born in America, will typically be high-achieving. They will usually play the piano and/or violin. They will attend an Ivy League or Top Ten university. They will tend to be professionals… and surpass their parents in income, but that’s partly because they started off with more money and because their parents invested so much in them… Whether male or female, they will not be as strict with their children as their parents were with them.”
- “The third generation (Sophia and Lulu’s) is the one I spend nights lying awake worrying about. Because of the hard work of their parents and grandparents, this generation will be born into the great comforts of the upper middle class. Even as children they will own many hardcover books (an almost criminal luxury from the point of view of immigrant parents)… Finally and most problematically, they will feel that they have individual rights guaranteed by the U.S Constitution and therefore be much more likely to disobey their parents and ignore career advice.”
Personally, I feel as if I am in between the second and third generations. I’m the first generation in my family to be born in the United States, but I’m also given the luxury of living in the upper middle class. I aim to attend a prestigious university, but I appreciate my individual rights. Nonetheless, my childhood upbringing was stricter than most. However, I appreciate all that my parents sacrificed for me.
No matter who you are or where you come from, Chua’s novel will resonate with you on some level. I highly suggest you read it for yourself.
I think that this was avery interesting article! I feel like it is so true how tiger moms force their child to be successful and make them learn many things. I feel very lucky because my mom is not like that. I didn’t know that there was a novel about tiger moms and I will make sure to read that.
This article was pretty interesting. I’m very aware of this term of a “tiger mom” and how many people live stressful lives because of their mother. As someone who doesn’t have a “complete” tiger mom, reading this article made me think about what my life would be like if it was like those that do. I don’t really support this way of parenting but I can understand why they do this.
Great article! This article was very informative and interesting. Your article reminds me of my upbringing as well as my friends. For example my parents used a similar method as well, making me learn how to play the viola and piano. I’ll be sure to read Amy Chua’s novel “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother!”
This article was interesting and relatable. Even though my parents are not exactly like that they are close. Reading this article I am tempted to read the book. I also am trying to do well in school in order to make my parents proud. I also really liked the use of quotes from the book to try and get the message across.
This article is a great summation of a ‘tiger mom’ stereotype. I always knew that the stereotype exists, but I never knew that it had origins in Chinese culture. But in many ways, it makes sense now that I think about it, and now I really want to read the novel, as it will definitely relate to me. And I’m definitely not the only one who will relate to it. Great article!
This article was very interesting and fun to read! I believe that many people with Asian parents can relate to many of the ideas discussed in this article. I’ve never heard of Amy Chua’s novel before, but I’ll definitely read it now!
I’ve heard the phrase “tiger mom” several times throughout my life. This stereotype definitely exists, since education is incredibly important in Asian culture. I can relate to the part about having to learn one instrument, especially since it’s…piano! My parents do push me hard, but I think that I’ve only come as far as I have with their efforts. I’ve always wondered why it’s the term “tiger mom” and not “tiger father”. In any case, I am super interested in reading this book now!
Wow, great article, Maya! This was super fun to read, as I have heard so much about “tiger moms.” When I was younger, I always thought that my mother was kind of a tiger mom. But after reading this article, I know my mom is not even close. Yes, she may be extremely strict and all, but not to this extent! Lastly, I learned that tiger moms force their children to play an instrument. Thanks for sharing and I can’t wait to read more of your articles!
The reason why chinese moms seem very strict is because in Asian culture, the success of children is often dictated by their parent’s discipline. These moms are called “tiger moms”. Stereotypically, “tiger moms” force their children to play an instrument. I have heard the term “tiger mom” too many times when kids talk about why the play violin or can’t play games. Although my parents aren’t chinese, they act the same way. For example I play violin because my dad told me and I study very hard because I am driven.
I have heard the term “tiger mom” in my life, but i have not know there was an book about this topic. Chua’s opinion on the first, second, and third generation children sets me thinking. If the second generation knows the way of the tiger mom I assume, but do they want to adopt the way in how they teach their children? Additionally, the third generation follows the U.S constitution, but is it the reason for disobedience?
This article really stood out to me because many of the things you said in the article are true about “tiger moms.” According to Chua’s opinion, I am from the second generation since my brother and I are the first ones in my family to be born in America. However, my parents are strict with me but not the “tiger mom” kind of strict. Yes, I play the piano but I chose to do that myself and yes, my parents put a lot of energy into my education but they also want me to have fun. I also appreciate all that my parents sacrificed for me. I am very interested in reading Chua’s novel, and I hope to learn more!
I think the phrase “tiger mom” could definitely apply to our mom. It’s interesting to see the difference between Western and Eastern parenting as in Western culture, many believe that children should be able to choose whatever hobbies that suit their interests. Of course, growing up our parents would force us to do things we wouldn’t normally choose to do (the word degrade is a bit much Maya), but nevertheless, their actions always reflected our interests. Additionally, it was fascinating to see how Chua classified the different generations. The first generation is undoubtedly the hardest working, and I agree that each generation loses the motivation to work hard and achieve.
I think that this article is very interesting. The difference in Western and Eastern parenting can be very evident because of how strict Eastern parents can be. I think it is hard to understand the perspective of a “tiger mom,” but this book definitely could help people understand why tiger moms act the way they do. This book sounds very interesting to read. The difference between generations is also interesting.
I’ve known about this book before. At first, when I heard that Chua threatens her kids about burning their toys, I thought it was really missed up. However, I do agree that it does make the child stronger and persevere more. After reading this article, it did remind me how strict Eastern parents can be. Also, I did find the difference between generations interesting.
I can definitely relate to this and you feeling in between the second and third generation, and also like you I am the first generation to be born in America. My head has been nodding to every word written in this article. Even the description of what parents believe in is relatable. This is what leads to the stereotypes of the “typical” Asian, even though it is not wrong. I would love to read this book and find out more about the parents’ point of view. I wonder what role the father plays in this though…?
Wow! This article is so interesting! My dad is actually currently reading this book for an English language enrichment class. I think that it’s so cool how books like this are in mainstream culture and people are learning about Asian-American struggles. I can definitely relate to so many of these stereotypes.
This was a very interesting article pointing out and describing what a stereotypical “tiger mom” is. I don’t have “tiger mom” parents. They obviously care about my education and success, but they are not strict. In fact, they are very lenient. When I first heard about what tiger moms are, I was scared and felt like it was wrong, but I have to agree in some ways that it does make the child more determined and stronger. It was also interesting to see the difference between generations. I’m intrigued to read this book as well.
It’s amazing how accurate Chua’s explanation of tiger mom’s actually are. Although I cannot totally relate to the excessive pushing and stereotypical pressure that parents may put on their children, I’ve heard and can understand where these accounts are coming from. As shown from this article, there is a clear difference between Western upbringing, where the child is nurtured and encouraged more, and Eastern upbringing, where the child is pressured into success. I myself am a second generation Chinese American and, in accordance with this article, have more independence and freedom of choice than most people who have these “tiger moms”. Wonderful article!
I can personally relate to tough love from parents, and I feel like all my Asian friends have generally stricter parents than parents of Western upbringing. I myself am a second generation Chinese American, and have pretty strict parents. At a early age, I always thought my parents were unreasonable with anything that I did, but as I grew older, I understand the meaning of “tough love,” and have learned to appreciate my parents more. Thanks for writing about this topic and helping me recount some of my own experiences!
Great Article Maya! This past summer I actually read Amy Chua’s book and was both intrigued and at times critical of her parenting style. She provides a great insight into how I’m sure many third generation children feel, and how their parents feel. As for me, I grew up in a very unorthodox way in the fact that my parents were never super strict with me. While they do push me to aim high and succeed, I’m not under constant pressure from them. However, I do agree that sometimes pushing your children to work hard is a good thing, but not if it goes too far. For example, in the book when they took a trip to Russia, and Chua got into a very heated argument with Lulu about practicing violin on vacation. I feel that this showed that Chua took things too far in pushing her daughter to succeed and be good at something she didn’t want to do. I am glad that at the end of the book she somewhat realizes this. It was a great book and I definitely recommend reading it. Thanks for sharing!
I can somewhat relate to this article. Although my mother is strict in som ways, she is actually very lenient about a lot of things I do. This concept of straight Asian parents reminded me of the movie Crazy Rich Asians. The movie, I feel, accurately portrayed the difference between strict Easter Asian parents and most Asian parents from the west. Overall, great article. It was extremely interesting and insightful!!
I’m personally not a fan of the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, because a lot of the things she talks about forcing her children to do are based less on creativity, independent thinking, and self-motivation so much as a mother telling her children, “you will do this.” However, one interesting point brought up in the book is the concept of generational decline, which I believe is true. After all, many times, especially in royalty, dynasties, and ruling power, those who are born into high positions and are spoiled throughout their entire life tend to forget about hard work, motivation, and doing right by the people they are supposed to rule. I don’t, however, agree with the author on the solutions she uses to address this problem. She believes more in parent-enforced discipline, while I believe more in self-discipline. Nevertheless, it’s an interesting point and I’m glad you focused an entire article on this concept!
Great article! I have quite often heard the term “tiger mom”, the stereotype definitely exists. My mother is strict in most ways but is very caring and lenient towards me. It’s very interesting to see how different parenting cultures are compared to the Western and Eastern.
I can relate to this, as both my parents annoy me about studying hard. However, I feel that these tiger moms go to far when they use physical punishment. Although they might want their children to succeed in life, these Asian moms should first succeed at being a parent. They should enforce better parenting techniques other than physical punishment or threatening to burn their children’s toys.